Posted on The Daily Touch on 13/1/14.
Children’s TV was great – not only was it brilliant for filling your Saturday mornings, but it also prepared you for some unruly characters in later life.
Here’s 27 people the 90′s kids programmes warned you about meeting:
1. The Spoilt Princess - Angelica (Rugrats)
She has regular access to her daddy’s bank account and understands the devastation of the recession – her parents were forced to downgrade their food shopping to Waitrose basic.
2. Mr friend-zoned - Arthur
He’s a really nice guy, and not bad looking, but for some reason he always gets lumped in the friend zone. Poor Arthur.
3. The Lad - Dennis the Mennis
He’s horrible to everyone, but for some reason everyone thinks he’s really cool for being like that. His parents’ complete lack of control over him during his childhood is a large indication as to why he’s such an arse.
4. The Slightly Strange family - The Sinclair family (Dinosaurs)
You have no idea what went into their gene pool, and hope to never find out.
5. The goody-two-shoes - Bubbles (Power Puff Girls)
The one in your seminars who’s always sucking up to the lecturer, or laughing outrageously at your boss’s jokes. She’s made of “sugar, spice and everything nice”. Excuse me while I hurl.
6. The grumpy guy - Daggett Doofus Beaver (Angry Beavers)
He hates everything and everyone. His insecurities for living in his perfect older brother’s shadow manifest themselves into erratic and nasty behaviour, particularly name-calling.
7. The Popular girl - Helga (Hey Arnold)
That girl in secondary school who was really popular, but not very nice. Years later you discover that actually she wasn’t that wonderful, and you suspect that the reason she was so popular was because everyone was secretly afraid of her.
8. The ‘geek’ who turned into a stunner - Lizzie (The Lizzie McGuire show)
She was a nobody in Secondary School, but now she’s really hot. With hindsight, you seriously regret ignoring her in your maths lessons.
9. The girl you see a bit too much of… - Cow (Cow and chicken)
The phrase “If you’ve got it, flaunt it” springs to mind.
10. The guy with small-man-syndrome - Dexter (Dexter’s laboratory)
What he lacks in size he makes up for with nasty comments and an excessive ego.
11. The fancy-dress fanatic - Mona the vampire
Whatever the occasion, they insist on wearing fancy dress. Initially you thought they were quite funny, but now it’s a bit irritating that they turn up to formal events dressed as anything other than what’s appropriate.
12. The two you can’t believe are friends - Pinky and the Brain
They seem to irritate one another considerably, yet insist on going around as a duo. Possibly because one feels sorry for the other.
13. The miserable old lady - Muriel Finster (Recess)
Not all old ladies are cute and cuddly. Recess warned you.
14. The Gap Yah student - Dora the Explorer
She’s been everywhere and seen everything, and she has a really cool rucksack.
15. The hoover - Badger (Bodger and Badger)
They will eat literally anything that you put in front of them. Particularly if it’s mashed potato.
16. The one who mumbles all the time and you never have a clue what they’re saying - Pingu
You always have to ask them to repeat themselves, so you’ve given up trying and instead just nod and agree.
17. The know-it-all - Raven Baxter (That’s so Raven)
She always knows how things are going to turn out. Oh, he cheated on you? She hates to say it, but she told you so.
18. The very proud family - The Wombles
They think they’re amazing and want to make sure that you always remember how great their family is.
19. The relative/friend that refuses to change their car - The Flintstones
Even though it’s a battered up old banger, they can’t part with their boy-racer peugot.
20. The cliquey street/village - Sesame street
That family that has 7 generations living on one street, or that village where everyone knows everyone.
21. The model - Jonny Bravo
They’re absolutely GORGEOUS… and that’s about it. Although you would rather eat your own arm than try and hold a conversation with them, they’re pretty nice to look at.
22. The craft genius - Neil (Art attack)
All their presents are home-made, and their house is full of their nifty creations.
23. The technology wiz - Bernard (Bernard’s watch)
They always have the latest smartphone/computer, and their life is just amazing.
24. Mr Suave - The Pink Panther
He can wriggle his way out of any form of trouble and always lands on his feet.
25. The Trickster - Top Cat
You lend them a fiver, and they never seem to have any cash on them to pay you back. You’ve also noticed that a lot of your stuff goes missing when they’re around…
26. The Hipsters - The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
They were wearing onesies before they were even cool, and they have a serious attitude problem.
27. The slob - Bananas in Pyjamas
No matter what the time of day or the weather, this person is always in their dressing gown and pyjamas, slumped in front of the tv.
That’s all Folks! The End.